i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
