He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
