3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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