Will you blow on my dice?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
whose ass print is on the piano?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
