I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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