I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
