Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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