I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
