lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm so fucking centered right now
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
