Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
