So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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