I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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