Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
