Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
