ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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