lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
