SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
