why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
