Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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