I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
