GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
