So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the day after is always just damage control
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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