I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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