im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
