Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
