Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize