Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
4 words: hood of his car
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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