guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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