before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
