It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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