i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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