So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
