"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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