You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
