Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
