I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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