from now on my penis is your penis
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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