Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
