Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
