Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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