We're like a lot better than the average bears
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
There's even glitter on my cock...
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