You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
