if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize
