How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
