that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just gift wrapped bread.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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