He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
