still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
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I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
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OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I lost the right to judge tonight
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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