I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
they need to just BURY HIM!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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