Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
