erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
