Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
