did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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