then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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