Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
