im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize