tell your sister to shave her snatch
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
