I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
