i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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