it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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