Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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