I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
