I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
