Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
