I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
