dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
