Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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