I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
