i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
