doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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