ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in