you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
being pregnant is like rehab
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
