Whod you bang
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
