so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize