So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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