We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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