Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
