I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
